Have you ever wondered how insane an anorexic mind is?  What goes on in their heads as they focus solely on food, calories, fatness, thinness, their bodies, and other women's bodies (they constantly compare their bodies to other women's).

British Journalist Kate Spicer is living the life of an anorexic and bringing these emotions to light for women everywhere as she will star in a new documentary "Super-Skinny Me: The Race to Size Zero."  Until then, TimesOnline has some of her "lowlights of my descent into starvation."

Already I enjoy the feeling of emptiness in my body and every morning I encourage more emptiness by drinking two pints of salty water to cleanse my bowel. The effect is explosive. Obviously this in’t healthy. I am also smoking a lot more.

On this diet my happiest place is tucked up in bed alone, stomach grinding with hunger, wrapped round a hot water bottle (I am always cold) with some prescription-strength sleeping pills.

What a life, hugh?  I'd rather be working, lifting, writing, dancing, playing...  Just think of what could be enjoyed with a little food for fuel. 

After the interview I go for dinner and am so debilitated that I eat a small tuna tartare and have two glasses of wine. Then I crack — that’s the wine — and order some coconut cake. After a few mouthfuls I become hyper, like a kid after too many sweeties, rambling excitedly about how sugar acts on the same neural pathways as cocaine. Everyone stares — I am on a sugar high. My cheeks are flushed and my speech is speedy. I feel happy.

She's become a freak!

The next day I get up and run for an hour and feel really fat. The truth is, the more weight I lose, the fatter I feel and the more I want to lose weight. I lie in bed in the mornings feeling my hipbones and wanting to feel them more. I want them to jut out.

Now obsessed.

My mind is warped and I have arrived at planet thin where all that really matters — forget art, literature, intelligence, love, family, career — is getting thinner.

Everyone suffers from anorexia, not just the anorexic, but the pain is felt as she disconnects from society, family, and career.  She is miserable, angry, and everyone feels her negative vibes.  Who wants to be around that?

Nothing much great is happening anywhere else in my life: my work output is intermittent as I can’t concentrate, socially everything is a drag, family life is a nono.

Not to worry that meeting men is harder without a drink in your hand, because if I keep this up I’ll be a trophy-wife weight, I’ll be the sort of thin that a certain type of man likes to buy into as he would a flash car. And with the obsessive shopping and debilitated mental capacities for intellectual combat, I’ll fit the brief perfectly.

Trophy wife?  No life of your own, nothing you can offer to the world, who will remember you when you die?  

Idiot is the one starving his or herself thin.

If you experience any of these thoughts or emotions listed above please seek the help of a mental health professional immediately, this is not something you can fix yourself.